Hubby and I watched the movie "Revolutionary Road" last night. This movie struck me on sooo many levels. Its such a raw, truly honest and bold portrayal of some marriages. The movie tells the story of a married couple (April and Frank) played by the amazing Kate Winslet and the effervescent Leonardo DiCaprio. It's set in 1955 when it was expected that men worked and provided for their families while the women stayed home and took care of the home and children or if they were to work they'd have a secretarial position of some sorts. The goal was to continue this life and the only growth was to expand the family by having more kids and a bigger home. In the beginning of their relationship Frank and April wanted to be different, they wanted to matter, they wanted to make sure that no matter what they'd always make sure they stayed happy and keep things fresh between them and not fit in with the norm.
Eventually they ended up falling into the "trap" of society. They had the house and 2 children and April who had aspirations of becoming an actress was now forced to stay home with her children and being a nurturer to her family. Frank was settled into a job he hated. April then came up with a perfect way for them to break free and start "living" again. She wanted to move to Paris and Frank was ok with it except that it meant throwing away his manhood to just "live." So at the last minute he decided to stay put at his job.
In the end Frank chose to make society happy and this broke his wife's heart. Not only that, they ended up getting pregnant. April felt like she was stuck, she couldn't leave but if she stayed she felt as if she was drowning. It was just too much for her to handle and she ended up aborting the baby herself which killed her. Of course this ended up killing Frank, not literally but figuratively. He had to now focus on his children and continuing to make them and society happy since he'd fail to make himself and his wife happy.
This is such a profound movie. I felt connected to Kate's character in so many ways. I've been where she was as far as wanting not to fit in with society and wanting to make sure that her marriage was "her" marriage and not society's. It's funny because people assume that everyone's life must follow a certain rule depending on which path you choose in life. At least in my opinion, that's what's expected. If you choose the career path then that means you must find your career and excel in it. If you choose marriage and a family then that means you excel in being a wife and mom and you can't have the career that will make you happy or make you feel alive. It's as if you have to give up one to get the other. Sadly enough many people follow and believe these rules. Oddly enough I've fallen into that "trap" as well. I've also fought hard like April did to make sure that I gave my career a fair chance. It didn't always turn out the way I wanted but at least I tried and will continue to fight society's expectations of me. Who says I can't have it all? Who said Frank couldn't just "live" and not worry about what society would think of him for not having a job? Who told Frank that he "had" to be the provider when his wife offered to work while he just "lived" ? Who gave Frank the right to take April's dream away? Who said that his career and hopes and dreams were more important than hers? Who gave him the right to drain her so much so that she felt empty inside? No one should have the right to do that to another human being. No one should allow that to happen to themselves. No one should be so cruel to their spouse. It's easier said than done and of course everyone's circumstances are different and it might make fighting society near impossible but you can still try to hold on to that dream and find a way to get to it. My ending is totally different from April's of course but I feel for her character that she didn't find happiness in the end. You just gotta fight for your dream. Find it, grab it and never give it up no matter what!! I mean after all, its your dream, no one else should have a say in whether its worth accomplishing or not.
Just a thought... :)