Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Placing Judgement

Being a mom means having to make sacrifices for the betterment of your child. Sometimes you're placed in situations that you'd prefer not to be in, nevertheless you learn to roll with the punches and the statement "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" comes into play A LOT.

One of my regular "mommy tasks" is to go grocery shopping. It's second nature to me, I don't mind it but I often have to do it with all 3 boys in tow. Often times a 1 hr trip can take me up to 2 hrs because I stop to discipline the 2 older boys along the way or I have to entertain my lil man.

Well recently I decided that I wanted to tackle the grocery shopping all by myself so I left the boys with hubby and went shopping. It was great, I actually got to get every item that was on my list. Sometimes when I go with all 3 boys, lil man # 3 expires towards the end of the trip so I end up leaving without some of the items and going back the next day.

During my solo trip to the grocery store I started to remember an incident I had when I just moved to Temecula CA from Tampa Fl. Hubby, munchkin# 1 and I moved to CA in 2003 when I was pregnant with baby # 2. I was so overwhelmed and super scared because I was away from close family and friends most of whom I was used to seeing on a daily basis. I had to really adjust to this new way of living. Not only that, I had to deal with a 3 hr time difference that proved to be a challenge for quite some time.

About 6 weeks after giving birth to munchkin # 2 hubby had to go on a 2 week training mission. I thought it was no big deal since it was such a short period of time. I'm a military wife so I was used to him being away for long periods of time. This time around it would be more challenging because I would be home alone with both boys but I knew I could do it and if it got overwhelming I'd just pray my way through it.

Well one day I took a trip to Target to pick up some diapers and a few other household items. Upon checking out 2 young ladies were staring at me and made a sweet statement about both my boys being so adorable. I smiled and said "thank you." One of them then said "How old is your baby?" I replied "He's 6 weeks old." She goes"Oh that's so young. I replied "Yeah!"

It was now my turn to check out and both girls went to the next register but while walking away I over heard one of the girls saying "Omg, I don't understand how people take their babies out the house at such a young age. I'd be so scared to leave the house." They both started laughing and since they were on their way out the store and I was sleep deprived (lol) I didn't bother to address their comments.

After thinking about it for a second I got really angry and irritated that they would place judgment on me especially without knowing my situation. Did they honestly think my preference would've been to bring my 6 weeks old baby out in public? Did they think that I was that shallow or not good of a mom to not think of the safety of my baby? How dare they not assume that I just had NO OTHER CHOICE!!! Which was the case. I then got angrier at the fact that I was SO far away from family and friends who would've jumped at the chance to baby sit my boys while I run errands.

I tend to over think the safety of my kids at times so the comments made by these girls reallypissed me off that day. I almost wished that I made the effort to say something to them but then I thought to myself "who cares? why am I getting so pissed?"

I guess the overall point of this post is that people have NO idea what's going on behind closed doors. No one knows exactly what someone else may be going through. Don't assume that your life experiences is the exact same way for everyone. Don't assume that the options available to you will be available to everyone else. My most important point is that people should NEVER PLACE JUDGEMENT on others. I'm sure these girls didn't mean any harm but it did put me in a bad mood for a little that day.

These days it would'nt have bugged me at all since I'm in a completely different place but I still feel like people should learn to keep their mouths shut or have some compassion for others situations.

Happy Hump Day everyone!

Much Love :)


  1. Oh, can I ralate to this! One time I had a basket full of groceries putting it on the belt, with my four boys in tow and the gentleman behind me says, "oh, you must be rich! (as he was looking at all of the FOOD I was putting on the belt) I wanted to, well let's just say...I held it together with a smile and said, "no, just hungry!" People....judging....I tell you, the Lord has worked on my heart in this department. I'm not perfect by far, but there needs to be much more understanding and compassion given out than what one sees most of the time.

  2. Thanks for reading/commenting Marlece. I'd say the Lord is doing great things with you. Keep up the great work. :)

  3. I have never been one to stay in with my babies after they were born. After I had #2, we stopped for a full round of grocery shopping on the way home from the hospital! He was like 30 hours old, because I was released the day after he was born.


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